Today I wanted to briefly talk about a role that women take on that men especially just really don't understand how hard it is.
Being a mom is a FULL TIME job. 24 hours, 7 days a week. Being a mom is a life filled with worry lol. Seriously tho its the best thing to ever happen to us and we are truly happy at least 80% of the time. But the 20% of the time we live in fear for our children. Hoping they are raised right, when they are sick we have mini heart attacks, making sure their future wont be as hard as ours and omg if your a single mom, juggling work, and you kids is even harder. I was a single mother at one point. It was the hardest decision I had to make because I had everything fall on me. I had my own apt, full-time job and I had to take care of my first born. It came to a point where I had to make a huge decision. I worked in retail with a company that was a GREAT company but the people in charge were to be completely honest horrible. No matter how much I busted my behind to prove to them what a great employee I was, they wouldn't give me the one thing I wanted was a set schedule so I can be able to have a life with my son. So I made the choice to have my son live with his dad during the week so he can go to school and have a steady schedule. I cant begin to tell you all how many times I cried myself to sleep hating myself for having to have him be with his father more then with me. His father is an amazing father and I am glad at least he stayed with him but I wanted to be with my son. I wanted to raise him and I wanted to play that role. I made a lot of selfish choices that caused me to have to give my son to his father so that at least we had somewhere to live and that I was able to eventually provide for him full time like I was suppose too. However being so depressed by the guilt of feeling like a horrible mom I started drinking and partying to numb the pain. It only made it worse. I sank so deep that I knew I was never ever going to fix my life if I keep being selfish. Even tho I was depressed I shouldn't have turned to partying and drinking. I should of looked for another job and worked even harder to get my son back full-time. but I was scared, scared that I wouldn't find a job paying me what I was getting already and scared that I would be a more horrible mom. BUT.... everything happens for a reason. After all that I went through I finally had a situation happened that literally changed my life and I turned to god and told myself that I wasnt going to be scared of what he gave me because he knows I would do great. So I met my wonderful boyfriend that I have now for 2 and half years and we had a son together and now not only do I get my first born ever weekend, which by the way I do because his school is 3 blocks away from his dad and an hour away from me. So to make it easy we decided to keep it that way until he finishes in that school. But getting him every weekend is a blessing and I know it will get better. I am also a full time mom with my second son. Its hard because I'm starting all over and its all new to me but I love every second of it. Even when he stresses me. lol. Its just hard to work on myself and find time but I'm sure I will find that. Right now my focus is being a good house wife and full time mom. I am so blessed to have these things happen and more things coming. God allowed me to go through those situations to see what was really important and to understand sacrifice is going to happen in life. just be smart about what you will scarfice for. I don't regret what I have done because I am here now learning and making sure I don't make mistakes again. I am a great mom. Mothers do make mistakes but we are amazing women because we put ourselves last and put our children first and make sure every minute they are good. I have realized how strong I am through my boys. I want them to see that strength and hopefully be inspired. if your a mom going through a lot of messed up situations, its ok we all go through it but think positive and work hard to be a better mother. These kids need us and there generation is going to be different and it starts now when they are young to raise them right. Don't give up on yourself because you have children that need you.
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Let me know also what topic you would like for me to talk about.... would love to hear feedback... :)