18 years old
Still in pain from him beating me
bruises fade but the pain wouldn’t go away
the pain so deep sometimes I felt like I was dying
This man that came at night
he wouldn’t take no for an answer
one night I fell asleep in the living room, waking up to his hands down my pants...
jumping up and running to the bathroom
crying not understanding what just happened.
That was only the beginning of a journey I thought was over.
I couldn’t understand my life at this point.
I wanted to die.
Emotions I didn’t understand, feeling like I was this thing that men can touch, feeling like I was worthless,
I couldnt understand why he would look at me, see the fear in my eyes and would continue.
My fear turned him on more.
DONT TOUCH ME!!!!
Everyday I wanted to say that
Everyday I wanted to run
Everyday I lost a bit of myself
Everyday I got more weak
DONT TOUCH ME
Those words would scream at me
Those words would be so loud in my head
Those words would try to leave my lips
My spirit would slowly die, I didn’t have faith, hope or any kind of love left in me.
I was just this body walking around.
I was numb, being molested by this man, This man that smelled my pain, saw weakness and took advantage.
DONT TOUCH ME!!!
I finally said it!!!
Called my mom and as heart broken she was, I was home 3 days later.
2 years of being beaten and molested, I don’t know how I survived.
I was turning 19 when I came home
I was never successful at killing myself.
God had a Purpose for me…