Hey its MOMMY MONDAY!!!!
Yes its Monday, I am super exhausted and what's crazy is that I had such a relaxing weekend. My kids stayed with their dad this weekend and I had something important to do in the morning but then that was it. I was so lost on what to do that I ended up spending the weekend with my Best Friend and my Goddaughter :), I am so used to at least one of my kids with me that I was like what am I going to do now...lol My house was clean, laundry is not that full and in my building doing laundry on the weekends is the WORSE!!! so I was like what the hell I haven't had a sleepover with my BFF in a long time. So thats what I did all weekend nothing but Girl Talk, Cheesecake and TV Shows all weekend...lol we didn't even cook dinner we ordered Chinese food...lol
It was something I needed. I needed it because I have been feeling like such a horrible mom lately and I needed to just get away from some memories that still bother me. I have been fixing up my apt now getting it to look more like me then when it resembled us and I have been trying to figure out what colors to paint my apt, YES I AM PAINTING MY APT...lol. I feel like I need a change that will help me not remember the past too much and just keep moving forward, even if in the future we could get back together, God has his ways of sometimes allowing a relationship to part ways only for them to realize what he put together. God has a way to make miracles happen. So I am trusting in only him and not my understandings anymore.but for now during this tough journey, I don't want that memory of this tough break up to come up whether I am with him or not. I can't say what the future will bring but I am the type of person that if its in the past then remove everything that will constantly remind you of pain. I have 2 pictures in the whole house up of us as a family and honestly thats for the kids but everything else is just the kids..lol. Not to be mean but during this process, I need a clear mind for myself and my kids. Its hard because your learning to live a new life without someone you couldn't even imagine living without. So the journey is rough but I know God has a plan for all of this and I am just trusting in him and learning to be obedient.
So this topic today is about not killing yourself being "THE PERFECT MOM" first there is no such thing as a perfect mom and second your going to lose yourself in trying to be this mom that is impossible to be. You have to remember being a mom is a difficult job but if your not truly happy, then how can your kids ever will be? Your kids can give you so much joy because they do, but don't lose who you are as a WOMAN. You have to take time out for you and only you. Why? Not only to get your thoughts and sanity together lol but to also continue to know yourself and still learn as you grow what you still like and don't like. You don't want to stay one way because your kids will grow up and as they are changing they will learn new things and if you're not, how will they ever learn anything from you? How will they be inspired by you if you're not improving yourself? We are an image they will see that will constantly show them who to look up too. I have been learning that in my journey as a full time mom. I don't want my kids to feel like I am not inspirational to them. Take a weekend or a day which ever works best for you but work on yourself as much as you can because now you have a child or children that will not only look up to you but will become an image of you. So if you make mistakes along the way don't kill yourself feeling bad, I did that for a long time. and still do it and i have to catch myself. All I can do is move forward everyday to be a better and better mom and try my best to who them what they need to know to add goodness into this world when they are older. I learned that by taking time for myself and learning more and more of who I am and the woman I want to become. Hope this helped you ladies in some way...
Do not cast away your confidence, which has great reward.